If the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, I’m going to spend some time in this edition of HTH talking about LeBron “The Kang” James. Let me preface this by saying I am in no way, shape, or form a LeBron fan. I just can’t do it. I despise the constant badgering of his super fans already and I can’t be a part of that club. Seriously they are the most insufferable group of fans outside of the Beyhive, Cowboys fans, Saints fans, and Nintendo fans. There’s either an abundance of over-praise or an abundance of excuses when it comes to all of the mentioned fan-bases. With all that being said…
LeBron is cold as a muff***a.
This man is in his 15th year in the league and he’s playing better basketball now than I’ve ever seen him play. In the 2018 playoffs he’s averaging 33.7 pts (on a .550 FG%), 8.7 rebs, 9.0 ast, and just 3.8 turnovers. Russell Westbrook can only DREAM about that level of efficiency. Listen, there’s no way in hell the Cavs are going to win the championship but the way he has this awful supporting cast playing they could definitely fool you into thinking they have a shot. LeBron James does make the players around him better. Anything beyond that narrative has to stop. His basketball IQ is too high for him to be a detriment to any supporting cast. This team should be at home right now but James simply will not let this slaw ass squad lose!
As I’ve stated before, Cleveland is going to win this thing in 6 games and send Brad’s modem rebooting ass home before being sent to the Upside Down by Golden State. At this point we’re all just along for the ride to see what kind of ridiculous game Bron is going to have next against a Celtic team that is finally missing their stars. Kyrie and Gordon would’ve made a massive difference in this series. I could make a case that the Cavs would’ve been swept with both of those guys on the floor. Kyrie is a cold-blooded closer while being a game changer that would prevent James’ dominance from taking the Celtics completely out of a game. LeBron better enjoy the East while he can because if for any reason he decides to stay in the conference and go to any team outside of Philly, it’s a wrap for him making it to the Finals.
The Celtics are going to be a significant problem in the East for a long time…
Team Rocket is Blasting Off Again…
I still don’t Trust James Harden, but that “f**k you” dunk on Draymond Green in Game 4 of the WCF made me want to. This series is interesting because of how up and down it has been as far as the Warriors are concerned. If Steph played like the REAL Steph and not Earth-2 Steph then this series would’ve been over. The Rockets are a great team but it takes so much for them to get a win over the Dubs you start to wonder just how far ahead Golden State really is. In both of Houston’s wins Durant and Curry had rough shooting nights. Man how often is that s**t going to happen?
This series is tied 2-2 and I still have the Warriors winning per The Infinity Gauntlet, but the Rockets have made the playoffs fun again. The conflict over in the East is dope, too, but the inevitability of an NBA Street-style gamebreaker in the West gives the Rockets/Warriors match-up a more theme park-like feel.
Oh… The Suns are totally going to f**k up that #1 pick.
Jemele is Great. Fox & Friends Still Leaves More to be Desired
Shout out to Jemele Hil for being named Journalist of the Year by the National Association of Black Journalist. Jemele has always been dope to me. I still hate that she and Michael Smith agreed to do the evening edition of “Sportscenter”, as their previous show, “His & Hers”, was far superior and allowed them to just kick back and speak their minds. Of course the mass audience of “Sportscenter” caused ESPN to buckle to the pressure of white outrage due to Jemele’s comments on that-fella-that-sits-in-that-big-white-house, leading to the censoring of both Hill and Smith. This lead to the departure of them both from ESPN television (and if Smith has popped up since then, I must’ve missed it) and it appears that they’re out here living their best life now.
And about that white, tearful outrage. Well it lead to “Fox & Friends” incorrectly saying that Jemele was unemployed when they berated the NABJ for honoring her. And of course, in true Fox “journalism” fashion, they cleared it up later, but not with nearly the same amount of enthusiasm.
This is America…
J2 actually came up with a concept similar to Django Unchained in 2010. It was about a boy who was taught the ways of the ninja by a butler, who was to be played by Jet Li. The name of this tale was “N***a Assassin”. This is not a fabricated story. Ask me about it.
So, Childish Gambino dropped a wonderful video for his song, “This Is America” (that you can find a dope ass piece about the video on this very site) and Black America lost its collective mind. There have been plenty of comments, videos, and articles breaking down the myriad of messages in Donald Glover’s brilliant work. Some people don’t care much for the song (I don’t think it holds up very well without the accompanying video), but the adoration for the music video appears to be unanimous. Or at least it appeared to be unanimous.
SUMMON THE HOTEPS!!!
Of course the Hoteps came through like an aggressive, angry, cocoa butter flood, and brought up the fact that he has a white girlfriend and due to this he is not worthy of being “woke”. The narrative soon shifted to what it means to be black enough to deliver positive messages and subtext for your people. I’ll just put it out there now: F**k anybody who believes that bulls**t. It makes no sense to dismiss someone because of the skin color of who they love. That essentially turns you into the thing that you hate and that pattern of thought should not serve as a means to disqualify a person’s opinion or position in their community. Something interesting happened over the course of the 2,000th Great Social Media Ragnarok that dramatically shifted the argument. Some people adopted the theory that black women don’t want the black male geek.
I immediately called bulls**t.
As a dark-skinned big fella who loves himself some Spider-Man, I checked off all of the boxes that would prevent me from getting play according to a popular perception of the world during the 90’s and most of the 00’s. For a while I did hide the geek that lied beneath. Think of it in the way the Bruce Banner tries to hide The Hulk, but with WAY more success and WAY less rage. The biggest things I had going for me growing up was that I knew how to hold a conversation and I had black knowledge on my side.
Then “Iron Man” dropped. Then “The Incredible Hulk” dropped. Then “Thor” dropped.
All of a sudden, a lot of black women were interested in super heroes, but they didn’t know a lot about it.
BLACK MALE GEEKS WERE FINALLY A F*****G THING!!! Keep in mind that this was around the time Rick Ross, a dark skinned big man with a beard, had ebony queens seeking out dark skinned big men with beards. It was my opportunity to be my ENTIRE self when talking to women about the things I liked. I didn’t have to end my description of myself at “…and I like sports, of course.” Now I could end with “… and I’m a huge comic book, God of War, Dragon Ball Z, Samurai Jack, and wrestling fan.” The paradigm had shifted dramatically and we had inherited the Earth.
Because of my experience with this, I couldn’t grasp the notion that black women wouldn’t go for a black geek in 20-f*****ng-got damn-18. My wife wasn’t into all of this Marvel/DC s**t until my web-slinging, tombstone piledriver using, Kamehameha throwing ass introduced her to that universe. Dating is hard, especially for millennials, but not to the point where I had to hide my geek level. It’s something that just wasn’t my reality. I originally came into writing this piece thinking that I was just going to roast geeks who still couldn’t get with some Ebony Ecstasy and blamed their geekiness for their lack of game.
Hell I posted a meme on the NJL FB page kinda-sorda pointing to the fact that people who believed that ish couldn’t close the deal because they weren’t attractive enough to the target demographic.
Then you see testimonials like this and think there’s no way in hell black geeks aren’t getting it in:
“It was like 4am and I was with my cousin. We’d gone out to Nitelyfe of all places and some dude she was seeing at the time wanted to go to iHop, I just wanted to go home so my attitude was hella salty. He invited a friend to, I guess, keep me calm but I was pretty much ignoring the poor fool. I was drunk, tired, he wasn’t attractive to me at all and I’m not nice enough for small talk. Pretty much sat there on mute while we waited for our food. I can’t remember what happened but I remember chuckling and saying, “OK Quinn Blackwood.” Under my breath. He kinda leaned back and looked at me and said, “What you know about Anne Rice?” Now I’m pretty much looking at him the same way asking the same question. We start geeking out because she’s apparently our favorite author. Everybody at the table is giving us that look non-geeky people give when two of us unexpectedly find each other in public and start having a conversation they can’t follow. I think I decided I was going to screw this unicorn of a man the moment Anne’s name exited his mouth because how many dudes do you know that go to Nitelyfe AND read shit like Anne f*****g Rice?”- M
Dawg if Anne f*****g Rice out here getting people *insert long-ass inappropriate, graphic, COUNTRY descriptions of sex* then just imagine what Batman and Iron Man are getting ninjas out here! When being a black geek and dating, confidence is definitely a key trait. Without it, you ain’t s**t. There are black, strong, smart, THICK geeky women who want to talk to you about the end of the Dragon Ball Super Tournament of Power or why the Nintendo Switch is an abomination in the presence of Odin.
YOU JUST NEED TO BE BETTER!!!
Or do you? The more I researched this topic, the more I learned about the other side of this coin. Apparently some people are trash enough to still tease and roast others because of the things that they like.
I didn’t expect to write this much about this topic, but I guess I have to split it up. Come back for Part 2!!!
J2 remembers the first time he was disrespected. The event occurred when one of his friends tried to tell him that Barney was a better show the Batman: The Animated Series. Legend has it, they’re still in the Shadow Realm singing that damn Barney song.