As a black geek I was blessed and fortunate enough to grow up around a lot of black geeks. Hell, my dad (R.I.H.) introduced me to all of this. My mom grew up with basic awareness of a lot of super heroes and comics, but she was only into it because of my dad after they got married. I’m married to a woman who didn’t know who the entire f**k Dr. Strange was before we got together, but now she’s trying to figure out how she’s going to make it to next year to find out how the heroes in “Infinity War” are going to deal with Thanos. I said all of that to say black love exists for black geeks who date black non-geeks. Due to my own personal experiences I just couldn’t wrap my head around black geeks still catching some roast over what they love in 2018. So I started asking people to tell me about their experiences.
"The results were certainly interesting. Check these out:
“From my experience, I can say that I have had maybe 3 women that have been open to the world of anime and gaming. Ones that I’ve tried to open to it seem interested at first but only because they think it’s one of those things that change after we date for so long. Like I won’t be as into it if she occupies my time. Not going to lie, the past few years my interest in manga and anime has grown tremendously and it’s as though because I lift weights I can’t be into that stuff. I’m into "Harry Potter" and even trading cards, and it seems to be a child’s thing but I’m coming from a place of where it’s a lifestyle. It’s not some random hobby I picked up on the weekends. I have websites I check for new episodes of anime, I get updates for Comic-Con, and I am thinking about joining a LARP group. So it’s like the more I grow into that it’s not a conversation I can always bring up for fear that I’ll be roasted over it. We (black geeks) see a lot of shame and jokes made when stuff like Skyrim and Kingdom Hearts come up. Yeah we’d rather play PC games than get drunk for a night or go listen to jazz music. When I think of ridicule for being a black geeks, one story in particular comes to mind. I have a kilt I wear for the Highland Games. I wore it for Halloween with my Skyrim mask and off-top I got roasted when I showed up at the party. I know that if I would’ve worn something different or recognizable, I wouldn’t have gotten roasted that way. I was specifically because of what I wore that I got the ridicule. And I can take a joke, but these came off as something deeper than just friendly jokes. It just is what it is.”- Ced
That’s pretty messed up, but check this next story out:
“There was this woman I worked with. She was nice and I tried befriending her. She is into the typical black things lik rap, R&B, urban movies and books, etc. I liked all of those things as well but when I started talking about "Harry Potter", "Dragon Age", and "Game of Thrones" she proceeded to tell me, ‘Oh you’re one of those weird ones. Into that white people stuff.’ After that she barely talked to me. I haven’t had a problem dating but I tend to lean towards men who share my taste or ones who know nothing about my nerdy world and are open to trying some of it out themselves. Trying to make black friends that were women was a nightmare, though. Most of my close friends are white. Once someone calls me ‘strange’ enough times, that’s when it’s done for me and I refuse to hide any parts of my interests for anyone.”- Denise
I didn’t even think that much about cultivating friendships as a geek when I started on this piece. If you’re going to shut down from talking to someone based on the things they find entertaining, you’re kind of an ass***e. Keep in mind that a lot of urban s**t like "Empire" and half of Black Netflix is trash to begin with. I wish somebody would come and tell me that "Game of Thrones" is some weird white people s**t.
Man I just got heated…
I guess the overarching point of this (besides raising awareness of some sort) is that… Dawg, a geek could be your true match. Stop being basic (closed minded) and embrace that black geek love. We’re smart af, can hold a conversation like a muff***a, and we look at a lot of stuff in more creative ways. Don’t be a c**t and think that someone can’t make you happy because they’re entertained by something that you believe is beneath you. Embrace your differences and give it a shot. And if nothing else works for you, then ponder on this:
Black geeks are amazing in bed. If we’re open to watching s**t like “Outlaw Star”, then just imagine what else we’re watching…
Thank me later.
J2’s selection for worst movie ever is “Human Centipede”. DO NOT LOOK THAT ISH UP!!!
If the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, I’m going to spend some time in this edition of HTH talking about LeBron “The Kang” James. Let me preface this by saying I am in no way, shape, or form a LeBron fan. I just can’t do it. I despise the constant badgering of his super fans already and I can’t be a part of that club. Seriously they are the most insufferable group of fans outside of the Beyhive, Cowboys fans, Saints fans, and Nintendo fans. There’s either an abundance of over-praise or an abundance of excuses when it comes to all of the mentioned fan-bases. With all that being said…
LeBron is cold as a muff***a.
This man is in his 15th year in the league and he’s playing better basketball now than I’ve ever seen him play. In the 2018 playoffs he’s averaging 33.7 pts (on a .550 FG%), 8.7 rebs, 9.0 ast, and just 3.8 turnovers. Russell Westbrook can only DREAM about that level of efficiency. Listen, there’s no way in hell the Cavs are going to win the championship but the way he has this awful supporting cast playing they could definitely fool you into thinking they have a shot. LeBron James does make the players around him better. Anything beyond that narrative has to stop. His basketball IQ is too high for him to be a detriment to any supporting cast. This team should be at home right now but James simply will not let this slaw ass squad lose!
As I’ve stated before, Cleveland is going to win this thing in 6 games and send Brad’s modem rebooting ass home before being sent to the Upside Down by Golden State. At this point we’re all just along for the ride to see what kind of ridiculous game Bron is going to have next against a Celtic team that is finally missing their stars. Kyrie and Gordon would’ve made a massive difference in this series. I could make a case that the Cavs would’ve been swept with both of those guys on the floor. Kyrie is a cold-blooded closer while being a game changer that would prevent James’ dominance from taking the Celtics completely out of a game. LeBron better enjoy the East while he can because if for any reason he decides to stay in the conference and go to any team outside of Philly, it’s a wrap for him making it to the Finals.
The Celtics are going to be a significant problem in the East for a long time…
Team Rocket is Blasting Off Again…
I still don’t Trust James Harden, but that “f**k you” dunk on Draymond Green in Game 4 of the WCF made me want to. This series is interesting because of how up and down it has been as far as the Warriors are concerned. If Steph played like the REAL Steph and not Earth-2 Steph then this series would’ve been over. The Rockets are a great team but it takes so much for them to get a win over the Dubs you start to wonder just how far ahead Golden State really is. In both of Houston’s wins Durant and Curry had rough shooting nights. Man how often is that s**t going to happen?
This series is tied 2-2 and I still have the Warriors winning per The Infinity Gauntlet, but the Rockets have made the playoffs fun again. The conflict over in the East is dope, too, but the inevitability of an NBA Street-style gamebreaker in the West gives the Rockets/Warriors match-up a more theme park-like feel.
Oh… The Suns are totally going to f**k up that #1 pick.
Jemele is Great. Fox & Friends Still Leaves More to be Desired
Shout out to Jemele Hil for being named Journalist of the Year by the National Association of Black Journalist. Jemele has always been dope to me. I still hate that she and Michael Smith agreed to do the evening edition of “Sportscenter”, as their previous show, “His & Hers”, was far superior and allowed them to just kick back and speak their minds. Of course the mass audience of “Sportscenter” caused ESPN to buckle to the pressure of white outrage due to Jemele’s comments on that-fella-that-sits-in-that-big-white-house, leading to the censoring of both Hill and Smith. This lead to the departure of them both from ESPN television (and if Smith has popped up since then, I must’ve missed it) and it appears that they’re out here living their best life now.
And about that white, tearful outrage. Well it lead to “Fox & Friends” incorrectly saying that Jemele was unemployed when they berated the NABJ for honoring her. And of course, in true Fox “journalism” fashion, they cleared it up later, but not with nearly the same amount of enthusiasm.
This is America…
J2 actually came up with a concept similar to Django Unchained in 2010. It was about a boy who was taught the ways of the ninja by a butler, who was to be played by Jet Li. The name of this tale was “N***a Assassin”. This is not a fabricated story. Ask me about it.
So, Childish Gambino dropped a wonderful video for his song, “This Is America” (that you can find a dope ass piece about the video on this very site) and Black America lost its collective mind. There have been plenty of comments, videos, and articles breaking down the myriad of messages in Donald Glover’s brilliant work. Some people don’t care much for the song (I don’t think it holds up very well without the accompanying video), but the adoration for the music video appears to be unanimous. Or at least it appeared to be unanimous.
SUMMON THE HOTEPS!!!
Of course the Hoteps came through like an aggressive, angry, cocoa butter flood, and brought up the fact that he has a white girlfriend and due to this he is not worthy of being “woke”. The narrative soon shifted to what it means to be black enough to deliver positive messages and subtext for your people. I’ll just put it out there now: F**k anybody who believes that bulls**t. It makes no sense to dismiss someone because of the skin color of who they love. That essentially turns you into the thing that you hate and that pattern of thought should not serve as a means to disqualify a person’s opinion or position in their community. Something interesting happened over the course of the 2,000th Great Social Media Ragnarok that dramatically shifted the argument. Some people adopted the theory that black women don’t want the black male geek.
I immediately called bulls**t.
As a dark-skinned big fella who loves himself some Spider-Man, I checked off all of the boxes that would prevent me from getting play according to a popular perception of the world during the 90’s and most of the 00’s. For a while I did hide the geek that lied beneath. Think of it in the way the Bruce Banner tries to hide The Hulk, but with WAY more success and WAY less rage. The biggest things I had going for me growing up was that I knew how to hold a conversation and I had black knowledge on my side.
Then “Iron Man” dropped. Then “The Incredible Hulk” dropped. Then “Thor” dropped.
All of a sudden, a lot of black women were interested in super heroes, but they didn’t know a lot about it.
BLACK MALE GEEKS WERE FINALLY A F*****G THING!!! Keep in mind that this was around the time Rick Ross, a dark skinned big man with a beard, had ebony queens seeking out dark skinned big men with beards. It was my opportunity to be my ENTIRE self when talking to women about the things I liked. I didn’t have to end my description of myself at “…and I like sports, of course.” Now I could end with “… and I’m a huge comic book, God of War, Dragon Ball Z, Samurai Jack, and wrestling fan.” The paradigm had shifted dramatically and we had inherited the Earth.
Because of my experience with this, I couldn’t grasp the notion that black women wouldn’t go for a black geek in 20-f*****ng-got damn-18. My wife wasn’t into all of this Marvel/DC s**t until my web-slinging, tombstone piledriver using, Kamehameha throwing ass introduced her to that universe. Dating is hard, especially for millennials, but not to the point where I had to hide my geek level. It’s something that just wasn’t my reality. I originally came into writing this piece thinking that I was just going to roast geeks who still couldn’t get with some Ebony Ecstasy and blamed their geekiness for their lack of game.
Hell I posted a meme on the NJL FB page kinda-sorda pointing to the fact that people who believed that ish couldn’t close the deal because they weren’t attractive enough to the target demographic.
Then you see testimonials like this and think there’s no way in hell black geeks aren’t getting it in:
“It was like 4am and I was with my cousin. We’d gone out to Nitelyfe of all places and some dude she was seeing at the time wanted to go to iHop, I just wanted to go home so my attitude was hella salty. He invited a friend to, I guess, keep me calm but I was pretty much ignoring the poor fool. I was drunk, tired, he wasn’t attractive to me at all and I’m not nice enough for small talk. Pretty much sat there on mute while we waited for our food. I can’t remember what happened but I remember chuckling and saying, “OK Quinn Blackwood.” Under my breath. He kinda leaned back and looked at me and said, “What you know about Anne Rice?” Now I’m pretty much looking at him the same way asking the same question. We start geeking out because she’s apparently our favorite author. Everybody at the table is giving us that look non-geeky people give when two of us unexpectedly find each other in public and start having a conversation they can’t follow. I think I decided I was going to screw this unicorn of a man the moment Anne’s name exited his mouth because how many dudes do you know that go to Nitelyfe AND read shit like Anne f*****g Rice?”- M
Dawg if Anne f*****g Rice out here getting people *insert long-ass inappropriate, graphic, COUNTRY descriptions of sex* then just imagine what Batman and Iron Man are getting ninjas out here! When being a black geek and dating, confidence is definitely a key trait. Without it, you ain’t s**t. There are black, strong, smart, THICK geeky women who want to talk to you about the end of the Dragon Ball Super Tournament of Power or why the Nintendo Switch is an abomination in the presence of Odin.
YOU JUST NEED TO BE BETTER!!!
Or do you? The more I researched this topic, the more I learned about the other side of this coin. Apparently some people are trash enough to still tease and roast others because of the things that they like.
I didn’t expect to write this much about this topic, but I guess I have to split it up. Come back for Part 2!!!
J2 remembers the first time he was disrespected. The event occurred when one of his friends tried to tell him that Barney was a better show the Batman: The Animated Series. Legend has it, they’re still in the Shadow Realm singing that damn Barney song.
I know in Vol. 3 I told y’all I didn’t have any faith in the Toronto Reptars (not a typo) nor the Philadelphia L’s (also not a typo), but I STILL picked the respective teams to at least get past a Cavaliers crew that just isn’t that good and a Celtic team coached by some dude I randomly saw walk by my cubicle when I worked for the-company-who-shall-not-be-spoken-of. The moment after that piece was published something in the pit of my Soul Stone told me, “J2, you need to go back and change that s**t because you know damn well that Toronto is about as reliable as Goku is as a present father, and the Sixers got to hold all of the L’s that Meek Mill has amassed.” Toronto got swept and it was so bad that they got 2017-18 Coach of the Year Dwane Casey fired. Not a PREVIOUS COTY, but the CURRENT COTY. Just think about that for a second.
Think about it just a little bit more…
And although DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry absolutely wasted Drake’s time, a lot of the blame for why Casey is without a job goes straight to LeBron James. He came into this series with absolutely no fear of the Barney’s from Canada and took them to the woodshed. It was nothing short of hilarious at first, but during Game 4 I flat out got pissed. Toronto is nothing and the coach wasn’t the problem. They came out and chose to do what they’ve done for maybe the past 3 years and be witnesses to LeBron’s greatness.
On the flip side, Brad Stevens aka The Tech Support Savant put together the troubleshooting guide on how to effectively beat some young buck ass over the course of the Boston/Philly series. He made Ben Simmons’ passing ability a virtual nonfactor. Embiid did what he does for the most part, but those young guys over in Boston had the right amount of magic to just go out and get it done. Brad don’t give a damn who you have on your team nor who he doesn’t have on his, you’re going to get this fundamental basketball, son. Watching him coach masterfully for full games is a thing of beauty. The Celtics are going to be f*****g dangerous next year.
Photo Credit: Masslive.com
If Only Kyrie and Gordon Were Healthy
I picked this as my Eastern Conference Final last year, long before Kyrie Irving and Gordon Hayward made the jump to Bean Town. I also predicted that LeBron would not go to his 8th consecutive NBA Finals, but it looks like injuries may keep that prophecy from coming to pass and prevent me to ascending to the pantheon of negroes that kinda-sorta know what they’re talking about. I’m picking Cleveland to win this series in 6 games, but you all can’t know how hard I want to pick this young Celtic crew to add another notch to this incredible season. I mean look at Game 1. The Celtics played a phenomenal game that left LeBron and the LeBronnaires searching on the ground for their mouthpieces. LeBron won’t play that bad again and the Cavs will pull this out, but take a second and imagine:
The REAL NBA Finals (With Infinity War Spoilers)
It’s finally time for Houston to face off with Thanos, and it’s just a matter of if the Dubs are going to win with a Rapture-inducing finger snap or if they’re going to tag that ass in the same way that the Hulk got tagged. If Game 1 is any indication, the Rockets may be engaged in an exercise of futility.
Harden and CP3 both had a good night and still lost by 13 points. Like… What can you do?
This series may come down to Harden keeping his head in the game. When you hit Harden in the mouth he starts to act just like Hulk in “Infinity War” and refuses to appear again. GSW’s defense is capable enough to throw the punch that would land in the aforementioned proverbial mouth, so we’ll see how that goes. Chris Paul has fit in way better than I thought he would with Harden, and maybe that’s what he needs to keep the Crimson Beard on task.
Golden State vs. Houston may end up going 6 games, but the Infinity Stones have been gathered and it’s about time the NBA starts to “not feel so good.” Too soon? Too savage? I’m sorry, y’all (not really).
J2 created the dance choreography for the “This Is America” video. You’re welcome. I’m woke AF!!!
So a week before we officially got word that Disney buying 21st Century Fox was a thing, it was a really hot rumor. So hot, that my fellow geeks and I couldn’t wait to talk about what the world would look like if Wolverine was sent on a mission to kill a target, only to find out that target was Hulk. If Mr. Fantastic was consulted by Peter Parker on how to stop his mutation into an actual Man-Spider. If the Shi’ar Empire appeared in a Guardians of the Galaxy film. So many awesome suggestions were thrown out there, and with each new or classic story that was brought up, the enthusiasm grew. And then, out of freakin’ nowhere, one guy says:
“Man… I sure hope that they don’t mess up Deadpool with all this PG stuff!”
Admittedly, I was slightly annoyed. Deadpool is funny character who found real prominence thanks to his 2015 film. A solid film that went on to become the highest grossing X-men film ever, and, with time, also became CRIMINALLY overrated. How overrated? There are people that believe Deadpool is a better choice than Thor for a fight against a group of other super heroes. That’s absolutely absurd, but I digress. I let my annoyance go, and moved on with my day. So later, I’m talking to a separate group of geeks about the then-possible merger, and yet again, someone brings up Deadpool. B, but it was worse this time. This lost soul said:
“I don’t care about any of those other properties, Deadpool is going to suck now because they’re going to try and make it PG!!!”
I’m here to make sure you all understand the gravity of the situation, here. Deadpool is cool, but we had WAY better comic book movies before he came along with crude jokes and body humor. If they don’t make another Deadpool movie, we’ll be fine. I understand your concerns. You want something that’s a hard “R” (gotta be careful with that), has plenty of gore, and will make you laugh. It’s the American way. You know what else is the American way? Sit back because I have a list:
I could really get crazy (Xenomorphs and Predators in Star Wars, The Simpsons appear in a Pixar film) but I don’t think it’s necessary. We live in a world where things look cool and they eventually disappoint, but I’m going to be optimistic about this one. Disney acquiring 21st Century Fox allows what we geeks have been begging for over the course of several years. All we want, all we NEED is all of Marvel’s characters under the same roof so we can get the stories we really want to see on screen. We finally have that. What a time to be alive!!!
And for the sake of all things awesome, please…
Shut the hell up about Deadpool…
From Jackson, MS, and is mostly proud of that. Trash will not be tolerated no matter how old it is. Might be a robot, and in a movie could be played by the Tin Man in "The Whiz"