If the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, I’m going to spend some time in this edition of HTH talking about LeBron “The Kang” James. Let me preface this by saying I am in no way, shape, or form a LeBron fan. I just can’t do it. I despise the constant badgering of his super fans already and I can’t be a part of that club. Seriously they are the most insufferable group of fans outside of the Beyhive, Cowboys fans, Saints fans, and Nintendo fans. There’s either an abundance of over-praise or an abundance of excuses when it comes to all of the mentioned fan-bases. With all that being said…
LeBron is cold as a muff***a.
This man is in his 15th year in the league and he’s playing better basketball now than I’ve ever seen him play. In the 2018 playoffs he’s averaging 33.7 pts (on a .550 FG%), 8.7 rebs, 9.0 ast, and just 3.8 turnovers. Russell Westbrook can only DREAM about that level of efficiency. Listen, there’s no way in hell the Cavs are going to win the championship but the way he has this awful supporting cast playing they could definitely fool you into thinking they have a shot. LeBron James does make the players around him better. Anything beyond that narrative has to stop. His basketball IQ is too high for him to be a detriment to any supporting cast. This team should be at home right now but James simply will not let this slaw ass squad lose!
As I’ve stated before, Cleveland is going to win this thing in 6 games and send Brad’s modem rebooting ass home before being sent to the Upside Down by Golden State. At this point we’re all just along for the ride to see what kind of ridiculous game Bron is going to have next against a Celtic team that is finally missing their stars. Kyrie and Gordon would’ve made a massive difference in this series. I could make a case that the Cavs would’ve been swept with both of those guys on the floor. Kyrie is a cold-blooded closer while being a game changer that would prevent James’ dominance from taking the Celtics completely out of a game. LeBron better enjoy the East while he can because if for any reason he decides to stay in the conference and go to any team outside of Philly, it’s a wrap for him making it to the Finals.
The Celtics are going to be a significant problem in the East for a long time…
Team Rocket is Blasting Off Again…
I still don’t Trust James Harden, but that “f**k you” dunk on Draymond Green in Game 4 of the WCF made me want to. This series is interesting because of how up and down it has been as far as the Warriors are concerned. If Steph played like the REAL Steph and not Earth-2 Steph then this series would’ve been over. The Rockets are a great team but it takes so much for them to get a win over the Dubs you start to wonder just how far ahead Golden State really is. In both of Houston’s wins Durant and Curry had rough shooting nights. Man how often is that s**t going to happen?
This series is tied 2-2 and I still have the Warriors winning per The Infinity Gauntlet, but the Rockets have made the playoffs fun again. The conflict over in the East is dope, too, but the inevitability of an NBA Street-style gamebreaker in the West gives the Rockets/Warriors match-up a more theme park-like feel.
Oh… The Suns are totally going to f**k up that #1 pick.
Jemele is Great. Fox & Friends Still Leaves More to be Desired
Shout out to Jemele Hil for being named Journalist of the Year by the National Association of Black Journalist. Jemele has always been dope to me. I still hate that she and Michael Smith agreed to do the evening edition of “Sportscenter”, as their previous show, “His & Hers”, was far superior and allowed them to just kick back and speak their minds. Of course the mass audience of “Sportscenter” caused ESPN to buckle to the pressure of white outrage due to Jemele’s comments on that-fella-that-sits-in-that-big-white-house, leading to the censoring of both Hill and Smith. This lead to the departure of them both from ESPN television (and if Smith has popped up since then, I must’ve missed it) and it appears that they’re out here living their best life now.
And about that white, tearful outrage. Well it lead to “Fox & Friends” incorrectly saying that Jemele was unemployed when they berated the NABJ for honoring her. And of course, in true Fox “journalism” fashion, they cleared it up later, but not with nearly the same amount of enthusiasm.
This is America…
J2 actually came up with a concept similar to Django Unchained in 2010. It was about a boy who was taught the ways of the ninja by a butler, who was to be played by Jet Li. The name of this tale was “N***a Assassin”. This is not a fabricated story. Ask me about it.
I know in Vol. 3 I told y’all I didn’t have any faith in the Toronto Reptars (not a typo) nor the Philadelphia L’s (also not a typo), but I STILL picked the respective teams to at least get past a Cavaliers crew that just isn’t that good and a Celtic team coached by some dude I randomly saw walk by my cubicle when I worked for the-company-who-shall-not-be-spoken-of. The moment after that piece was published something in the pit of my Soul Stone told me, “J2, you need to go back and change that s**t because you know damn well that Toronto is about as reliable as Goku is as a present father, and the Sixers got to hold all of the L’s that Meek Mill has amassed.” Toronto got swept and it was so bad that they got 2017-18 Coach of the Year Dwane Casey fired. Not a PREVIOUS COTY, but the CURRENT COTY. Just think about that for a second.
Think about it just a little bit more…
And although DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry absolutely wasted Drake’s time, a lot of the blame for why Casey is without a job goes straight to LeBron James. He came into this series with absolutely no fear of the Barney’s from Canada and took them to the woodshed. It was nothing short of hilarious at first, but during Game 4 I flat out got pissed. Toronto is nothing and the coach wasn’t the problem. They came out and chose to do what they’ve done for maybe the past 3 years and be witnesses to LeBron’s greatness.
On the flip side, Brad Stevens aka The Tech Support Savant put together the troubleshooting guide on how to effectively beat some young buck ass over the course of the Boston/Philly series. He made Ben Simmons’ passing ability a virtual nonfactor. Embiid did what he does for the most part, but those young guys over in Boston had the right amount of magic to just go out and get it done. Brad don’t give a damn who you have on your team nor who he doesn’t have on his, you’re going to get this fundamental basketball, son. Watching him coach masterfully for full games is a thing of beauty. The Celtics are going to be f*****g dangerous next year.
Photo Credit: Masslive.com
If Only Kyrie and Gordon Were Healthy
I picked this as my Eastern Conference Final last year, long before Kyrie Irving and Gordon Hayward made the jump to Bean Town. I also predicted that LeBron would not go to his 8th consecutive NBA Finals, but it looks like injuries may keep that prophecy from coming to pass and prevent me to ascending to the pantheon of negroes that kinda-sorta know what they’re talking about. I’m picking Cleveland to win this series in 6 games, but you all can’t know how hard I want to pick this young Celtic crew to add another notch to this incredible season. I mean look at Game 1. The Celtics played a phenomenal game that left LeBron and the LeBronnaires searching on the ground for their mouthpieces. LeBron won’t play that bad again and the Cavs will pull this out, but take a second and imagine:
The REAL NBA Finals (With Infinity War Spoilers)
It’s finally time for Houston to face off with Thanos, and it’s just a matter of if the Dubs are going to win with a Rapture-inducing finger snap or if they’re going to tag that ass in the same way that the Hulk got tagged. If Game 1 is any indication, the Rockets may be engaged in an exercise of futility.
Harden and CP3 both had a good night and still lost by 13 points. Like… What can you do?
This series may come down to Harden keeping his head in the game. When you hit Harden in the mouth he starts to act just like Hulk in “Infinity War” and refuses to appear again. GSW’s defense is capable enough to throw the punch that would land in the aforementioned proverbial mouth, so we’ll see how that goes. Chris Paul has fit in way better than I thought he would with Harden, and maybe that’s what he needs to keep the Crimson Beard on task.
Golden State vs. Houston may end up going 6 games, but the Infinity Stones have been gathered and it’s about time the NBA starts to “not feel so good.” Too soon? Too savage? I’m sorry, y’all (not really).
J2 created the dance choreography for the “This Is America” video. You’re welcome. I’m woke AF!!!