Hot-Take Hotep Vol. 3: Where Amazing Kinda Really Did Happen

You know why I’m here.  Let’s talk more about the NBA Playoffs, which have been INSANE!

LeBron Killmonger

Well that was fun while it lasted.  After the Pacers destroyed the Cleveland LeBrons in Game 6 of the first round of the 2018 NBA Playoffs, Lebron decided to go full Killmonger on our favorite Wakandan (Olidipo) and move his low-key (Loki?) wack ass team on to the second round.  LeBron stated he’d play the whole game during warm-ups like we didn’t expect that already.  Bron played just about every minute of every game in this series, going straight John Wick when need be.  The problem is that he’s fighting a futile battle.  Toronto is going to eliminate them in the second round.

Wait…

The Cavs are up 1-0 on Toronto, despite Toronto having a deeper team with better scorers?  Toronto has been one of the least trustworthy teams for a few years now.  They shouldn’t have made it past the Wizards, but fortunately for them the Wizards also should never be trusted.  I got the Raptors pulling this off in 6 games, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they also lost the series in 6 games.  Sure, I’d be disappointed, but it’ll be in the same way that Megatron was disappointed in Starscream back in the day.  Megatron had a feeling it would happen so he couldn’t be THAT mad.

Oh and Drake getting into it with Kendrick Perkins was hilarious to me.

Meek Mill Gets Out and Somehow This May Spell Doom for the 76ers

One of the coolest moments from this year’s playoffs came when Meek Mill was brought out to ring the Liberty Bell, straight off the helicopter that picked him up after he got out of prison.  I thought about 2 things after that happened:

1. There’s no way Miami wasn’t getting closed out.  That crowd was ridiculously up for that game and Meek being there ensured a Sixers win.
2. Is the curse of Meek’s L’s over, because it legit looks like the Celtics are trying to be “Back To Back” out there?
   

The Sixers came to Boston and got their asses handed to them to the tune of an 18-point loss.  Now the Celtics won’t clock in 17 3-pointers every game, but they are clearly a formidable threat.  I love what Brad from Comcast Tech Support has done with this young Celtic team.  This team lost their two best players and somehow are still playing sound basketball.  My Lord, could you imagine if Kyrie and Gordon were able to play.  The Celtics would be looking at a legit shot to win a title this year (I still think Golden State would take it, but it would take about 6 games).  If Meek’s L’s don’t get in the way, the 76ers should end this in 5 games with a Gentleman’s Sweep.

I want this Toronto/Drake vs. Philly/Meek series so BAD!!!
 

Thunderous Thot Magic®

Carmelo Anthony ain’t s**t anymore.  There’s plenty of blame to go around, but I’m tired of people acting like he’s still the same Carmelo that lead the Nuggets to the Western Conference Finals a millennia ago.  Carmelo scored only 7 points in each of the last two games of the series against the Jazz.  Granted, Paul George only scored 5 points in Game 6, but he’s still a better player right now than Melo.  Melo is utterly useless without the ball in his hands.  He just stands around like that one a**hole on a group project who acts like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands as everyone else comes up with a plan to help his silly ass get a passing grade.  It’s time to treat Melo like Kanye and just let him go to the Upside Down.

You know who else no longer gets a pass?  Russell Westbrook…

I recently published a think-piece based on the undeniable truth that R. Kelly ain’t ish that explains what Thot Magic is.  Russell Westbrook’s Thot Magic is Triple-Doubles.  They look great on paper and even on TV, but underneath it all they don’t mean a damn thing.  He’s that kid you knew who could’ve been top 10 in his class but he kept getting detention.  Russ is an amazing player, but he plays way too much hero ball and he’ll shoot his team out of a game faster than Goku abandoning his responsibilities as a father.  His fans don’t want to admit it, but Russ is part of the problem in OKC.

The Golden State Warriors Just Got the Last Infinity Stone Back

Ever since Kevin Durant joined the Warriors I’ve referred to that team as either the Legion of Doom or the Masters of Evil.  After seeing “Avengers: Infinity War” (which I thoroughly recommend) I’ve decided that from now on the Warriors are the Infinity Gauntlet.  Allow me to explain below (no spoilers):

1. Kevin Durant is the Power Stone- KD is where GSW gets all of their might.  He’s all about the destruction of other teams.
2. Draymond Green is the Soul Stone- Dray is the soul of the team and gets everyone going.  He does a lot on the court, but he’s not really a superstar.  He’s just the glue and an above-average role player.
3. Klay Thompson is the Reality Stone- When Klay is on fire, you realize there isn’t a damn thing the opposing team can do, IF there was something to be done.
4. Andre Igoudala is the Time Stone- Iggy gets this one because he’s ALWAYS on time.  Just when someone is making a run he keeps it from getting out of hand.
5. Steve Kerr is the Mind Stone- This one is obvious.  The coach is the mind that operates this devious, destructive body.
6. Steph Curry is the Space Stone- Because when he is on the court the laws of science just don’t apply.  He can hit from anywhere at any time.

As fun as the playoffs have been, as long as Golden State is healthy everything else is a formality.  They make it look easy as a team that is both an offensive and defensive threat to other teams.  No matter who they face…

GSW in 5 games, fam…

J2

J2 once tried dunking on a reindeer.  It ended as expected…