Over the past two years, I have worked tirelessly to establish The Negro Justice League as a source of credible intellectual criticism on issues that are important to black people. That being said, a few days ago, J2 published an article ranking the top five chicken establishments.
We have received several strong reactions from readers who take offense to J2’s article, not because he’s a black man writing about chicken, but because he let a restaurant that only sells chicken fingers top the list.
It is my duty as the leader of The Negro Justice League to right this wrong. I will not amend J2’s article, however, I will create my own definitive list of the Top Five FRIED Chicken Establishments.
Honorable Mention: Go Chicken Go – I’m going to be honest with y’all… I don’t really remember what this restaurant’s chicken tastes like. They made the list because of their gravy. They serve a yellow gravy that is the bomb dot com. Unfortunately, their only locations are in Kansas City, so if you want some, you might have to take a little trip. It's worth it, though.
Now, to the real contenders
#5 KFC – The Colonel literally changed the game when it comes to fried chicken. He had the brilliant idea to fry chicken in giant pressure cookers. Anybody who’s ever operated a pressure cooker can tell you how exquisitely dangerous this is. He’s also the first Caucasian man to go on record seasoning his food. I can't imagine the backlash he must have generated. To this day, we don’t know exactly which eleven herbs and spices are on that chicken, and that's okay. At least we know it's seasoned.
#4 Bojangles’ – I really don’t have a lot to say here. Bojangles’ aint bad. They serve respectable fried chicken with reasonable sides. I do like that they serve breakfast. Nothing disappoints me like wanting to fill my arteries with fat and salt on my way to work only to find the drive-thru doesn’t open until 11 am.
#3 Popeye’s – Okay, we’ve reached the heavy hitters, and this is where people’s feelings start to get hurt. I really enjoy Popeye’s, especially the spicy chicken. Any time a restaurant gives me the option to go spicy I take it. It’s how you communicate to the majority culture that you want your food seasoned.
#2 Church’s Chicken – Let me tell you! Who doesn’t get excited to pull into a new city and see they have a Church’s? When I was a kid, my parents used to drive an hour south to Richmond, VA just to get some of that big ass chicken. Yes, you may have to wait 45 minutes to get your food, but that swan-sized chicken breast is well worth the wait. Whatever type of genetic modification they have going on with that food makes it extra delectable. I think J2 may have said something about the sides… Who needs sides when you can get two ostrich legs for $1.99? Oh, and don't forget to get the red soda.
And the top spot goes to… *drum roll*
#1 My Mama’s House – Yeah, I said it. No, this is not a restaurant. No, you can’t get some. I have been at my desk for the past hour thinking of a way to communicate to y’all exactly how good my mama’s chicken is. I was going to tell you how she out Colonel’s the Colonel with only four seasonings. I was going to tell you how she tucks the wing tips up under the chicken so they fry evenly and you don’t get salmonella. I was going to tell you how she fries them in a skillet and leaves them on napkins to dry. Instead of explaining all this, I decided to just give you a picture…
My mama’s chicken is better than yo’ mama’s chicken, and not nan one of y’all better write me about it, neither.
Oh, and follow our Instagram food blog @NJLeats.
Cherry served as President of the Hogwart's Black Student Union from 2005-2006.